Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Love:Its all about sharing & giving


'Love' is one of those emotions which is very hard to express in words, I am sure many of you would agree with that. 'Love' is something which is found in every being & also intrinsic. Love can be observed in most of our actions & at any given point we are participating in things that we love. I could be conversing with a person; going for a trek in the wilderness; watching a favorite sport / program on Discovery Channel; writing a post; freezing a moment through my camera; listening to my favorite song; sketching a portrait; doing my routine job; cooking a dish; watering plants; hanging around with friends & guzzling beer; I could go on listing many such activities which I love doing. One thing that is common in every action I do would be the emotion called Love. I am passionate about them and have always given my best in everything. I hope most of them who have known me well agree with that ;)

The emotion remains the same when you love a person, you are passionate about them and willing to share & give anything to your beloved. The popular saying 'Opposites attract', is definitely true in some instances, but, that isn’t the case with me. Let me explain why I believe in commonality & why it goes well with me. Since, I come from an Electronics & Communications background, I would like to borrow some concepts from there. When two people share many common interests between them, then there would be less 'Impedance'. Also, achieving a near zero 'Impedance Matching' state is easier with those who share common traits when compared those who have diverse traits. Impedance matching (also called reflectionless matching) is for minimizing reflections and maximizing power transfer over a large bandwidth. When we apply the same concept between people who share common traits/interests, I believe there would be minimal conflicts & maximum exchange of 'Love' between them. I am not sure how many of you agree with that, but I would love to spend my life with a person who shares some of the common traits or interests that I have.

Just take a minute & try to remember all your close friends & analyze their traits/interests; I am sure you wouldn't be surprised to find many of them sharing the same traits/interests as that of yours. So, it makes much sense that when you share something common with the other, you also tend to give more than you receive - that’s one of the attribute of 'Love'.

Nita happened to tag me on this one a fortnight ago & I know I am late in responding to that tag. I had many things going @ that particular passage of time & I needed sometime to get over them. Now here goes the list of the traits of my dream partner.

  1. Honesty - I feel by being honest to 'Self', a person would be truthful to the other as well.
  2. Communication - I value this the most and feel in any relationship communication is the key trait. Sometimes it could prove costly on the relationship if either of them fail to communicate.
  3. Acceptance - Accepting people the way they are and being open-minded to others thoughts & feelings is something I believe in.
  4. Listening - Being a sound listener, as this helps a person give a sound feedback.
  5. Maturity - Maturity comes with age, experience & learning.
  6. Learning - I feel a person who stops learning, stops growing - spiritually, mentally & physically. I like people who are eager many subjects
  7. Independent – Should be capable of handling/dealing with situations or incidents independently & making the decisions.
  8. Social Being - Be a free spirited individual who moves around without much fuss about things.
  9. Adventurous - I am an outdoor person, who would love to travel & visit as many places as possible in my life time. I expect the same kind of enthusiasm from the other.
  10. Organized - I like people who are organized.
BTW I happened to meet (virtually) someone recently who shares many of these traits; unfortunately I am 6 months late in knowing her, as she is currently seeing someone else. It's the song “She's The One” by Robbie Williams that comes to mind when I think about her.

'Life with Love is a life of involvement, commitment & participation. Life no longer remains plain, it becomes a Celebration!'


P.S: Everything expressed on this post is only my perspective on the subject 'Love'; if someone feels that it’s borrowed or plagiarized I give a DAMN.

18 comments:

Neets said...

right on! you express real well man. i am 100% on having 'common likes and dislikes'. glad to know that you almost found her, but were a lil late. dude, with the way you've put these words down, you could make women fall in love with what you show here. Wish you all the best. :) Hope you find her soon.:)

priya said...

I agree that people tend to feel comfortable in a relationship which starts of with individuals having common likes and dislikes, but I DONOT AGREE that the "minimal conflicts & maximum exchange of 'Love'" formula MAY FAIL to hold good between individuals with different likes and dislikes. I personally feel that one’s likes and dislikes when respected and accepted by the other with varied interests or same interests will create a lovable atmosphere :):).Yes when one person tries to force his or her opinions and views on the other - things go out of control …I would put it like this – I would love to spend the rest of my life with a person who is able to respect interests I have – I have no problems if his interests are different – I would like to argue on one thing with “THE MAN OF MY LIFE” - who loves the other more in the relationship – and wud luv it if the argument continues :):)

small squirrel said...

hey there. well I agree with you to a certain extent. (I also think that people certainly have their own likes and needs and what works for me might not work for you!)

For me, I have some core essentials that my partner and I have to agree on. These things are important. I am with you that a certain amount of harmony in a relationship is most definitely needed.

But saying "communication" is too vague. Everyone communicates, even when they choose not to speak to you. That is their communication. Do you prefer direct communication? Get everything out in the open immediately? Do you like it more when someone is more levelheaded? DO you like someone who can see all sides of an argument or someone who will counter you in a debate? See, can't just say "communication"

Anyway, I have my core traits I look for.... and in the other areas sometimes I prefer an opposite. Keeps things interesting. I do not mind conflict. I mind disrespect. To me there is a difference, and I am sure to you too.

Anyway, your writing sounds just like you... why would someone think it was plaigarized?

Vasu the terrible said...

Kondor!!! - I think I cant agree with you more. What I really liked was your example on impedence matching. I was thrilled to hear it. Went back in time and wondered "what did I do with my electronics degree ?" Some day, I am going to take EFY and build circuits the old fashioned way... diodes, resistors, capcitors... I know it sounds stupids with all kind of PLCs in the market. But what the heck there is no better thing than designing your own circuits on a bread board or general purpose pcb and seeing the desired signal come out in an osciloscope. My hand is itching to grab the yellow soldron and remove the rust. Funnily I have never been able to trhow it out...

Coming back to the topic. I think you have way more clarity on things than many people and dont worry about the one that flew away. Wait for a while, the birds always come to their nests.. :D atleast some other bird would come...

@squirril- I think kondor is talking about likes attract and impedance matching he is talking about it in a abstract level. Obviously any two individuals would be different. Sometimes as different as chalk and cheese. But they become likes if there is a common trait of "honesty", "passion", "communication" and all the other things he mentioned. I think thats what he means. correct me if I am wrong kondor.

great job in getting electronics into the discussion.

vasu

Deepti said...

Hmm... to be honest I kind of agree with you.. opposites attract might hold good if you were to consider characters ( silent attracts talkative etc.,) but i don't think it holds good as far as common interests are concerned !! Jus' imagine.. what conversation could you have were you to not share common interests when you're 70????

Suresh B J said...

can teh person who shares common traits with u come from male community ;-)

Vivek Kondur said...

Neets, I try to express myself in a simple & clear way, so that ppl reading can relate better. Good to know that you too share the same pattern on 'common likes & dislikes'.

Dudette, these were exactly the same words she told me. Let me make few things clear, I write these posts not to impress anyone, writing is something I have enjoyed for almost a decade now and it has been only 2 years since I have been blogging and I really enjoy the concept of blogging; which provides a medium to express your thoughts on any subject in a responsible way.

Thanks! for your wishes, I will need them:)

Vivek Kondur said...

Hey Priya!

>>>but I DONOT AGREE that the "minimal conflicts & maximum exchange of 'Love'" formula MAY FAIL to hold good between individuals with different likes and dislikes.

I never said that minimal conflicts & maximum exchange of 'Love' formula would FAIL to hold good between individuals with different likes and dislikes". All I was trying to say was, it would be easier to achieve a 'Common ground'/ 'Zero state of Impedance Matching' in case of conflicts. As you share the same academic back ground as mine, I guess you know that even in the Electronic Circuits we have never achieved a 'Zero state of Impedance Matching'. We always try to maintain the Impedance ratio of Load & Source by adding Resistors or Inductances or Capacitors in series or in parallel.

Moreover I know I would never find another person who would be mirror image of me. All I expect from my partner is to share some of the common traits I have listed on the post.

>>>I personally feel that one’s likes and dislikes when respected and accepted by the other with varied interests or same interests will create a lovable atmosphere.

Trait #3 says the same thing.

>>>I would like to argue on one thing with “THE MAN OF MY LIFE” - who loves the other more in the relationship – and wud luv it if the argument continues

Healthy arguments are something which keep the relationships going & adds more life to the relationship.

Vivek Kondur said...

Squirrel, good to have u back on my blog :).

I completely agree with what you have said in the two paragraphs. You are right in pointing out that I am too vague by mentioning just 'Communication'. I like someone who can see all sides of an argument & then respond. I would probably have a separate post on this subject sometime later; you see I was just listing the traits on this post.

>>>I do not mind conflict. I mind disrespect. To me there is a difference, and I am sure to you too.

Conflicts are something which happen gradually over the passage of time. But, showing disrespect to someone can be avoided, we can make the difference.

>>>Anyway, your writing sounds just like you... why would someone think it was plaigarized?

This guy named 'One Who Nets the Dot' had dropped by couple of weeks ago & had left these KIND words...

"Borrowed words, free advice, mutual flattery and shameless philosophizing. Church of Scientology atleast threw in some aliens into the mix. What the heck , this too will pass!"

"Yeah Bhagwan Sri Krishnan said that a few thousand years ago. This post of yours sounds like unashamed plagiarism of someone else's experience."

So that last line was for people like him :D

Vivek Kondur said...

Hey Vasu!

Was really glad to hear that dude, going back in time & thinking abt EFY stuff. EFY was really a cool Mag & I liked their DIY stuff; it has been ages since I saw an issue of that. The feeling & satisfaction you get @ the end of building something on u'r own is quite different. One fine day with the help of my cousin, I managed to build a simple ampilifier for myself. But, have never tested its peak output B'coz my parents are around most of the time & they don't like too much of WATTZ coming out of my room ;)

>>>Wait for a while, the birds always come to their nests.. :D atleast some other bird would come...

I liked this one....could control my Laughter ....LOL.

>>>@squirril- I think kondor is talking about likes attract and impedance matching he is talking about it in a abstract level......

I was just trying to correlate electonics & love, Impedance Matching was at abstract level. I agree with you pal.

Vasu, I appreciate your time spent on visiting my blog & leave your footprints. Have really enjoyed your comments & hope u continue the same. I wish you address me as 'Kondur' the next time :D:D

Vivek Kondur said...

Deepti, Thanks! for dropping by.

>>>Jus' imagine.. what conversation could you have were you to not share common interests when you're 70????

On a lighter note, I don't have the desire to live untill 70;) I would like to live my life here & now.

This reminds me of Cobain's words
"Its better to burn out than fade away"

Vivek Kondur said...

Suresh,
>>>Can teh person who shares common traits with u come from male community

I don't mind being a good friend, but I can never even think of having a male as my partner for life. Somehow that thot doesn't go down well with my system of thinking.

Neets said...

ya?!!*looking innocent* I thought you wrote this to advertise your requirements, da. (save some money on the match making websites). well anyway... it would be a bonus if someone falls for you online. :P
Priya-> Its may be cos I have seen marriages between people who are poles apart, that I have this strong feeling about sharing some things in common. Not that these marriages have been disastrous, but they endure so much of stress cos there isn’t much they can share. They are very close to just being people who share beds and that’s it. This is my observation, that for people who value their independence and enjoy doing things on their own, it doesn’t matter to them if they share interests with their spouse. I am some one who values my independence yet loves being with people, doing things together… I have always felt joint activities helps people connect, communicate and understand each other better. People’s interests and how they go about carrying on with those interests tell a lot about them selves.
Though, some of us here, including my self, hope to find someone with whom we can have shared interests, I know that a 100% match is definitely impossible… and more over who wants to live with a clone?! You wouldn’t learn anything new would you? Some differences are bound to be there- two people from two different families.

Vivek Kondur said...

Neets, I would have surely written this post on Love, but would have never listed the traits if not for your TAG:P

If U look @ this post as an advertisement, may be I wld clip my post;)

Neets said...

what an ass! you threaten to remove my source of entertainment!!! :P kya kya serious loge baccccche!

Vasu the terrible said...

you know, when I first met you on the way from chikamgalur, I tried very hard to remember you name. Then I came up with this association theory. What can I associate Vivek Kondur.. ?? Vivek is surely a common Indian name.. The answer lay in your surname Kondur... I could think of that huge majestic and colourfull bird the condor... with a K ofcourse.

And there it was... Vivek Kondor... somewhere down the line, I forgot to recorrect Kondor to Kondur while addressing you and it slipped out...

Sorry. I suck at names..

vasu

Vivek Kondur said...

Hey! Vasu,

I remember we first met during our trek to Mulyangiri. Dude, Vivek is such a common Indian name & atleast you didn't need to come up with an association theory to remember my name. May B u have come across too many Viveks & u needed to differentiate me from them. I like myself being associated with the Majestic & Colorful bird Condor....with a K ofcourse:D

I knew you were addressing me as Kondor on purpose....but didn't know the reason behind it. Now that I know the reason I don't mind being addressed 'Kondor' ;)

vincent & radhika said...

hi - I realy like the analogy made between love and concepts from physics. it is original. most metaphysical guys do that and you are on your way it seems;) anyways-- u are right about it, if not interest then traits...which in many ways answers the difficult and half answered question of "why brings two people together and for a long time" (some do stay on forever!)...but I see you are quite way ward off in defining what a trait is. I would not define your traits as traits but rather as attitudes. The acquisition of a trait relies on unknown factors like genes etc. But traits = pattern of thoughts, subtle manner in which you relate to another person, what gives one happiness...it is deeper and hence one cannot define it, and takes a while to know these traits. and hence that is why love is developed over time.